Cause my heart breaks a little everytime when I hear your name

Hey-yai people, it's been so long since updated my blog..it's been like what more than 6 months plus I think.. Well it has been 1/2 year and I would just say one thing I was and I am still freaking busy with my final year project. I just can't wait for it to end. Pass this 7 months, things weren't really great for me..so much troubles am going through with my project and I just hope I would get the result I wanted, the outcome I want to enjoy it. So am working really hard on it. Hopefully it will be a success :) Talking about it, I'm suppose to be in the mid of writing my thesis-chapter 2 ( Literature review) and seems like I have been procrastinating a lot since morning!!! but nyekkk I can do it cause am good at last minute work! LOL plus I still have time till Monday.

So talking about me on how my life is going on, its actually going on pretty well but just that you know at times when we are lonely or something like that, our mind tends to travel past and future all together..yea am in that phase now..

I know rejection hurts. Being forgotten hurts as well but above all being replaced hurts the most. They feed you crap about how you are so perfect to them and how they'll never meet anyone like you again in their life and how happy you make them and then poof, suddenly one day they decide that this isn't what they want anymore, and as quick as they came into your life, they are gone just like that. There you are on your own, you have to find your life again where everything you do, everything you see reminds you of them, it hurts, it fucking hurts so much. They said heartbreak changes people, I don't know if it changed me or not. Too add in more they even said time is the healer of the broken heart but I think in my case its just making it worse :/

(source: Grey's Anatomy)

I still cannot believe whatever that's happening right now but I'm slowly accepting the fact. You said you hated me so much during our last conversation few weeks ago, you blamed me on so many things that I treated you so badly and that I did not appreciate you and so many more..Seriously if I had the courage, if I had the heart to say things back to you I would have. I would have made you cried as well, I would have hurt you twice as much as you hurt me and am capable of that but that's not me. I let you to play the blaming game, I kept quiet cause I know it's not the truth, you know it's not the truth, you know what type of person I am. Your ego, your stupidity, your selfishness all of it over-rights my love. You said you still care about me, still thinking about me than why the fck are you not taking a proper decision? Why are you choosing this path when you clearly know that's not the path you wanted since the beginning?  The game you are playing now, it sucks. I am not gonna be in the game as one of the player, not gonna sit and watch this sick stupid game of yours, don't try to make me part of this stupid game of yours. You can officially go to hell! Yeah you can.
You have no fkng rights to tell me that I should start to move on, fyi if you moved on that quickly doesn't mean I'm suppose to do so. No seriously I wonder how you could move on so fast, did I really meant that much only for you or was I just someone that you was with till you were bored or something? I don't know and I don't wish to know cause your love was not true cause even if it did, you would have at least waited for sometime before moving on, and you had the guts to tell me that I only find you after you and her happened. Now tell me if I didn't do so what kinda girlfriend was I?? You know there is so much of questions that I want to ask you, so much of things I want to tell you and I don't know when am gonna explode with this feeling in me but I guess maybe its not the time yet for me to speak to you about it or even maybe god just doesn't want me to speak to you at all. I prefer the latter one.I just hope I wont and will never see you again in my life ever, even if I did I wish that I'll have the courage to walk away with a stronger heart.

(source: Grey's Anatomy)

p/s: seems like today's post which is after 6 months I am still emo'ing about this mf love feelings! arrghhh for god sake give me a break please.. :/

-Kausy-

-The memories came rushing back like they never even left-

2013 New Beginning

credits to tumblr

hey hey people  HAPPY NEW YEAR :D yeapsie am back  and am gonna have a wonderful year this time ! yeah that's the positive spirit kausy! woohooo..okay I think I should calm myself now.. :P

Well I forget to mention about my results last semester, you know I've never been this happy seeing my result, it was good. Made myself happy and so do my parents and yea, You made to think actually on the last day of 2012, I , well its not only me but its actually we actually took a good decision. Thank you!! Finally am not into any commitments with you and hell yea I am relieved. No more hard feelings. Well lets stop talking about my past, I just wanna forget it.. BUT I really do hope that one day you will realize what you mean to me, how much you meant to me because I honestly don't think you have the slightest clue and by that time I would have been gone......

credits to tumblr

 Talking about New Year Resolution : I want a change, I want a big change that would totally bring out the new me.. so here I am throwing away my old self and wanting to start all over again with myself. I know I will and I know I can do it now with all my loved ones next to me. 

Talking about last semester,  I was working for the past 3 months, did my internship in Ipoh Specialist Hosp.Those people working there, they became part of my life actually. They were there for me during my hard times, well seriously can you believe he made me to cry like sh!t in office, made me to punch my office door (it hurts me physically) lol..nevertheless I really had fun working. Working in a hospital environment was one of my dream since I was a small kid, I know this might sound crazy but I just love to be in hospital environment, I feel like its my second home you know. It sounds creepy I know but hell with it, that's me :) So I learnt lots of stuffs there and I really wish that the dream of mine will come true one day (continuing my studies in medicine), Well lets just wait and see what fate has for me. 

#Random Stuff
So Yeah I was re-blogging stuffs in tumblr when I came across this piece of information or should I say something that everyone wants to know.. :D This thing really made me to think a lot and I have added something to my new year resolution this year, lets just see if I make it happen 

credits to tumblr

10 Reasons Running Doesn't Suck as Much as You Think

1. Most races and fun runs are full of hot bodies in very little clothing. Let me repeat that: HOT PEOPLE. WEARING PRACTICALLY NOTHING. Wear sunglasses, and ogle with reckless abandon.

2. You can lose weight by drinking nothing but hot water with lemon. Or you can run for an hour, treat yourself to a cookie and still fit into your skinny jeans. One of these options makes you bitchy; the other makes you rad.

3. Take your iPod with you, and your runs suddenly become a safe place to indulge your love of boy-band music. With enough practice, you can even blend in a couple dance moves from ‘Bye Bye Bye’. Don’t lie: You’ve still got that routine memorized.

4. When your boss, your melodramatic friend and your nagging to-do list won’t leave you alone, calmly put on your running shoes and head out the door. They won’t follow you. It’s a safer alternative to storming out with both middle fingers in the air (though you can -and should- still do this in your head, just for spectacular effect).

5. You’ll discover lululemon pants are good for more than just buying tampons and Cheez-its at Target (I know, ladies. My world was rocked with that discovery, too.).

6. Running is the last place you have to “be a lady.” Sweat, snot and sneaking behind a bush to pee is not only liberating it’s fun, in that giggly-childish-naughty kind of way.

7. Getting a run in before happy hour means you get tipsy on half a glass of wine instead of your usual two. That’s not being a lush, that’s just sound economic planning.

8. Studies have shown that runners have better sex. Sex counts as a cross-training workout, which in turn makes you a better runner, which – hello! – leads to even better sex. Really, the whole thing is full of win-wins.

9. Girls are lucky; there’s an entire industry committed to making us look awesome while getting our sweat on. Workout clothes come in all sorts of cool colors and designs. Jockstraps, on the other hand, will always be ugly with questionable stains.

10. Non-runners will sit on the couch and call you crazy. Those folks, sadly, will never learn what their bodies are capable of. You, on the other hand, will die knowing you completely, totally, unabashedly used up the body that was loaned to you. That’s not crazy. That’s freakin’ awesome

Source: prettywildhealthy

So now

.
credits to tumblr

Motivating piece isn't it :P hahahahahha

-Happy New Year  again people -

-New Year, new beginning-

-loving myself for this 

-kausy-