I'm Just going to write because I cannot help it
I dont know why I'm writing this down. I couldnt speak to anyone about it, cause all they would say ( grow up kausy, you are no longer young, dont keep lingering in past. You need to let go. That was nothing. You have more to see in future..bla bla bla shits) It's not easy to find someone who is willing to listen to your pointless drama over and over again. Not easy at all. People tend to get bored. They act like they'll listen and stuffs but tbh none has the time for anyone.
BIG SIGH..I need to talk to someone, I need to tell every fucking things that is going through my mind for the past years..It's not hours or days or even weeks we are talking about here. It's about me, constantly fighting with a war inside my mind for years..At times, my thoughts, gets freaking so loud, that it cancel out my connection with outer world. Its funny when I realize the fights is between me and my thoughts..
Sometimes,
the world crumbles around me.
I'll be fine and then I won't be.
Just like that.
Than quickly, my entire life changes.
I become engulfed in this storm raging inside
my mind.
I forget how to smile,
how to laugh.
All I know is that I'm not okay.
I'm not okay at all.
All I know is that the pain in my head somehow
becomes pain in my body.
My muscles ache and my limbs become weak and heavy.
My mind spinning a thousand thoughts
into one single moment of emptiness,
and yet I keep it to myself.
A secret kept to the grave.
Fear takes over and silence ensues.
My struggles are my own,
not the cares of others.
Why burden anyone with
pointless shit that even I can't
make sense of?
So I just lay here.
Alone..
This body is a coffin,
and I'm buried alive.
You don't know why you're exhausted?
You're fighting a war inside your head every single day.
If that's not exhausting I don't know what is.
-Kausy
-220117, 0142am
-220117, 0142am
